MMMStop: A Fan’s Reaction to Hanson in the Media

We’ve seen an unexpected spike in Hanson mentions lately, and it’s kind of ironic when you think about it. In the last twenty years, Hanson has had multiple new albums and tours, started a non-profit charity organization, founded a music and beer festival with over 40,000 attendees, and started their own record label, all while most media outlets were busy covering things like the next seasonal Starbucks flavor or which muffin looks the most like a Chihuahua. Meanwhile, all it takes is someone getting confused about the release date of “MMMBop,” and suddenly an article about singing the wrong words to a ~20-year-old song goes viral. As a die-hard fan, it’s a little annoying, but we’re used to the MMMBop commentary by now. I’ll hit the “share” button and smile knowing that maybe a handful of people will be reintroduced to a forgotten talent, because this is the internet, and I know all too well that sometimes you click a random link and find yourself 47 Youtube videos deep three hours later.

Right after these MMMBop articles made the rounds, I spotted a new article with the title "Reminder: The Men from Hanson Are All Grown Up Now" while scrolling through Facebook on a break at work. I spent the rest of the day thinking “Good for them. Here’s someone that actually wants to focus on Hanson’s current music.” I sat down at my computer to read it as soon as I got home, ready to applaud whatever forward thinker took the time to see past the apparent blinding success of “MMMBop.”

Maybe I should have anticipated that the entire article would be one big Buzzfeed slobberfest over Hanson’s appearances. It turns out grown-up Hanson is “hot enough to just melt the pants right off ya” and not much else these days. Somewhere around the gif of Isaac’s hair flip, it occurred to me that I can either continue to be annoyed by shallow articles, or I can stop hoping to click on that perfectly enlightened piece that doesn’t exist and write it myself. It won't go viral and I offer no sweaty gifs to lure you in, but here’s the truth every Hanson fan wants you to know every time you see another “MMMBop” article.

1. First of all, MMMBop rocks, okay?
It’s not the embarrassing Pokemon shirt you refused to take off in 3rd grade that your friends still won’t let you live down; it’s a Grammy-nominated song that hit #1 in 27 countries. You’re doing pretty well if that’s the one moment from your childhood that people choose to dwell on.

Also, every possible groan-worthy stick-an-MMMBop-pun-in-the-title variation has already been done. Yes, every single painfully cheesy variation. Time to mmmove on.

2. Who cares if they're pretty?
I’m not about to argue with the fact that the members of Hanson are attractive, but that fact is so irrelevant to their talent and their craft that it shouldn’t even rank in the conversation. It’s like writing an article about a presidential candidate and mentioning the fact that they have feet. Who cares, unless we’re looking for a candidate that can run a marathon in addition to a country? Nobody in Hanson is trying to be a model or a pinup, and I’m pretty sure Zac’s face isn’t going to surprise us with a killer drum solo any time soon.

3. The Hanson I know melts faces, not pants.
If you go to a show, yeah, they’ll probably play “MMMBop.” They’ll also play songs from their other five albums, and the whole crowd will know every word. The energy is intense, so you’ll probably get your feet trampled if you try to stand still during “If Only” or “In the City.” You’ll involuntarily stomp during “You Can’t Stop Us;” I don’t care who you are. If you're lucky, you'll get to experience their cover of the Beatles’ “Oh Darling,” and you’ll have to swear to yourself that you’ll never tell another soul that Hanson did it better. Their harmonies will SLAY you. I dare you to go to a show and not enjoy or at least respect some aspect of it.

4. Their current tour and/or album is neither a “comeback” nor a “reunion.” 

As a Hanson fan with an English degree, I'm offended by articles like this on two levels. Thirty seconds, an internet connection, and the ability to spell both “Google” and “Hanson” is literally all it takes to find out that Hanson has never stopped making music and has been steadily touring and releasing albums since 1997. Suggesting otherwise is pretty insulting to both the band and their fans, and it’s insulting to the entire audience of readers who expect accuracy when choosing to spend their time reading a publication. If I wanted fiction, I’d go to the library. It also says a lot about modern journalism when even the most reputable sources show zero effort to do research to verify basic facts.

And then you get the media outlets that post “reunion” articles every single tour, for which I can only suspect amnesia is to blame.

5. Hanson isn't a "boy band."
They're often lumped into this category for two reasons: 1. They were literally boys in a band, and 2. They became famous around the same time as several well-known boy bands. The term "boy band" refers to a group of male singers also known for dancing. They're typically vocalists/performers who do not write or play their own music.

Isaac, Taylor, and Zac have written and performed all of their own music since the band formed back in 1992. In the last decade, I have personally seen them play the piano, guitar, drums, harmonica, tambourine, mandolin, cajon, cowbell, glockenspiel, and half a dozen other percussion instruments I can't even begin to identify. I've seen Taylor and Zac drum in unison, mirrored on a set of left and right-handed drum kits. I was also on the set of a music video shoot that involved choreographed dancing in homage to the Blues Brothers. The finished product is solid, but let's just say no one mistook them for a boy band while we were filming the flashmob scene.

6. They continue to grow and change, just like everyone else.
And if you must judge them on qualities beyond their music, remember that they’re philanthropists and goofballs and genuinely good people. They aren’t afraid of hard work or criticism, and they’ve had lots of experience with both. I hope we never forget MMMBop, and I hope their faces will stick around for a long time, but man, I sure hope they keep making music more than anything. You guys can keep your nostalgia; I can't wait to see what they do next.

MMMBop turns 18; Hanson brothers remain 12.

Pop music fans around the world are perplexed, music critics say. What is the cause of this recent stir? Records show that pop song and chronic ear worm “MMMBop” of Hanson’s 1997 release Middle of Nowhere turns 18 this year. The song first appeared as a track on an indie album called Boomerang that was recorded in ’94 and released a year later. Yes folks, “MMMBop” has finally become legal.

The controversy, however, lies in the fact that Hanson themselves still remain 12, a phenomenon that has many looking to the media for answers.

“Look at them!” One outraged MTV supporter raves. “They were just featured on the MTV website. This picture is from last week. They can’t be a day older than thirteen!”

“It's unnatural,” a second critic agrees. "Something just isn't right. Have we been lied to?"

And just around the time of its 18th birthday, rumors are circulating that a beer of the song's namesake is in the works. Huffington Post recently spoke with Zac Hanson, resident drummer and youngest member of the age-defying band.

"We are soon going to be selling our own beer. I'm not joking - MMMhop IPA anyone?" Zac reportedly said.

Source

Readers are demanding to know why the young teens have been permitted to create an alcoholic beverage they are not yet of age to consume, and with an 11-year-old spokesmanboy at that.

"It's true," a local L.A. Times reader admits. "I just read that the Hanson boys are making a beer. I looked at the picture that accompanied the article (shown left), and I said to myself, are they even old enough to drink? Hansonopoly is much more age-appropriate if you ask me."

It is unclear at this time whether the MMMboys have tapped into some age-defying secret, or if the media has been misconstruing their real ages for some time. Extreme Hanson activists have even taken to spreading the rumor that Taylor is having his fifth child to counteract the allegations that Hanson are still in their adolescence.

When asked directly about the age issue, MTV representatives are quoted as saying "It's a secret no one knows," but declined to comment further on the subject. It's a little bit weird, if you ask us.

*Note: It has been brought to my attention that "MMMBop" is NOT on Boomerang; it debuted on the indie album MMMBop in 1996, and therefore isn't actually 18 yet. Once upon a time, I knew this. Fortunately, part of a good satire is making stuff up, so just go with it. Kudos if you made it this far without realizing the error. I was convincing, right?