March 14, 2013

Taylor Hanson Turns 30!!!!! Feel Old?

There are two kinds of people in the world:  People that age normally, and child stars. For example, Taylor Hanson was 14 years old in 1997. Let’s say A.J. (that’s Average Joe) was also 14 in 1997. Check out this table charting their ages in surrounding years:

              A.J.      Taylor
1993    10            10
1995    12            12
1997    14            14
1999    16            14
2001    18            14
2003    20            14
2005    22            14
2007    24            14
2009    26            14
2011    28            14
  2013    30           30?!

Note that both followed normal aging patterns until 1997 when fame froze Taylor at 14, while A.J. continued to age at a normal rate. This allows A.J. and others in his peer group to advance into adulthood leaving Taylor with the "kid" label for years to come.

Ironically, the song that shot Taylor and his brothers to fame in 1997 was about the passage of time.  The lyrics touch on the fleeting nature of life and the moments that pass us by so quickly ("you turn your back and they're gone so fast"). The title word "MMMBop" itself, coined by the young brothers, means "a short moment in time." Little did Taylor know that a catchy little song about time would have the power to freeze him in adolescence indefinitely.

Given the facts, it's understandable that news of Taylor's 30th birthday has shocked pop culture enthusiasts everywhere today.  A quick Google search of "Taylor Hanson turns 30" will yield a multitude of articles, all beginning with the variation of a single sentence:  "Are you ready to feel old?" There's nothing scarier than waking up to find that someone you knew to be a young teen has gone and aged 16 years in a single day. If that can happen, what next?

If you're still skeptical, you can check these sources for proof:

OK! Magazine
(in which you can vote for which is hotter: 90's Taylor or Taylor Today. Um, creepy?)
Pop Dust
(in which the female author seems to have grasped his age, but not his gender)
Pop Goes the Arts
(in which four!!!! exclamation points were necessary)

Happy 30th Taylor! May this be the year that people finally let you grow up.